I don’t know where they are taking me. At first I thought they would take me to the police station and question me, but we seem to be going away from the city. Maybe they are taking me to the airport and throwing me out of the country. More than half an hour later the car enters a gated driveway leading to a double-storey bungalow in a big garden. It’s a very quiet area and I have no idea where I am. I feel very worried about the situation, but I try my best to look calm.
One of the men tells the lady something in Malay and she nods and returns to the car. The men then push me inside the house and force me to go upstairs. I am beginning to feel frightened, because this is definitely not a police station. What will they do to me?
One man opens a bedroom door and the other pushes me inside. I fear they may try to rape me as we appear to be alone in this big house. The men ask me for my handbag and they take away my watch, cellphone and jewelry. Then they push me inside a big empty wardrobe and shut the door. It is very dark and musty inside and I hear a key turning in the wardrobe door. I hear the men’s voices discussing something, then they leave the room, and I am alone in the total darkness. I can hear my heart pounding very loudly. The sound of traffic from a great distance tells me we are quite far from the city.
I have no sense of time. I may have dozed off after an hour, I can’t be sure. My stomach is growling, so it must be long after dinner time. I feel stiff and uncomfortable and my bladder is ready to burst. Amy must be wondering why I am not back at the hotel yet. I hope she will call Ang to enquire about me at the police station. That Razak is a coward. He dare not face me. Instead he has asked the police to kidnap me….
There are voices in the room and a key turns. The wardrobe door opens and I see several figures as my eyes adjust to the light. They are wearing black hoods and I can see only their eyes – but two of them are women. I am dragged out roughly and pushed on the floor. Now I am really scared. These people are dangerous, they are not behaving like police officers at all, more like members of a secret society.
While one of the hooded men lifts me off the floor, the large woman is shouting angrily at me, calling me all kinds of names. Suddenly she steps forward and slaps me very hard across the face – again and again and again – while my arms are held tight by the men. Tears sting my raw cheeks and I tell her stop but she keeps hitting me and spitting in my face.
She calls me a dirty prostitute and says I deserve to die. I don’t know who this woman is but she is totally crazy, like a demon. Sometimes she shouts at me in English and then she says something in Malay. The other woman steps forward and tears the front of my dress with great force. She pulls off my bra and gags me with it, and then she yanks down my panties, so they are around my ankles.
The men push me to the floor and take turns raping me. One tries to sodomize me but gives up and forces himself into my mouth instead. I bite him and he screams in pain and hits my head very hard, till I almost lose consciousness. This is a horrible nightmare. It can’t be happening to me! Who are these insane people? They can’t be policemen! They are monsters! I can hear the large woman laughing like a witch…
Suddenly I am looking at the scene from somewhere above. My body is badly bruised and almost numb with shock. It’s a strange feeling, to feel so detached from my body. I feel no anger. Only sadness and pity for my attackers who are so depraved they are no longer human. I know I will never see my family and friends again, because these people intend to kill me.
I am back in my body and it hurts all over. The woman is mercilessly beating me with a cane and kicking me while the others stand back. She keeps whacking my genitals until I feel nothing… then I am thankfully out of my body again.
I watch my unconscious body being carried downstairs. They tape my mouth shut and tie my hands and feet tight with plastic rope. Then they throw me into the back of a 4-wheel-drive and slam the door shut. The vehicle drives off, followed by two other cars.
After a long time the 4-wheel-drive stops and a few people climb into it. The road is very bad and bumpy but I am hovering close to my body, observing everything that happens. There is no more sound of traffic. We must be in the jungle somewhere because all I can hear are insects chirping loudly, and heavy breathing as my body is placed on a stretcher and carried by two men along a jungle path.
When they finally stop and put down the stretcher I hear the woman’s voice again. Cold water is thrown on my face and I return to my body with a jerk. Slowly I try to open my eyes but I can’t focus on anything because it is very dark, except for the flashlights carried by a few of my abductors. The woman’s voice is very close to my ear as she hisses: “So long, Aminah. Lovely to meet you at last. Have a pleasant journey.” She laughs grotesquely and rips off the tape covering my mouth. “I want to hear you scream. Do you have any last words… dear Aminah?” She has removed her hood so I can see her face. It’s a very cruel face indeed. The others are not wearing hoods but I don’t know who they are, but the large woman is obviously their boss.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch the metallic gleam of a gun near my face and I know this is the end of my story. I gather my strength and say as calmly and clearly as possible, so they will hear every word: “You are evil people. I curse you forever. You will never know peace again.” I feel myself transforming into a mother wolf, ready to pounce in defence of her cubs…
Then I hear a click and there is blinding flash. I am floating ten feet above my twitching body. After a while I see someone attaching something to my now lifeless body. I cannot believe they intend to blow up my corpse with explosives, so nobody will ever find my bones!
I look up and see a beautiful blue sky. The sun shines brilliantly over the distant mountains. I can hear voices singing in overtones the ancient melodies of the great steppes where my ancestors hunted and fought their battles. Suddenly I am flying like an eagle over the rugged landscape that feels so familiar. I am free as a bird and I am home at last.